This is a guest article by Elliott Gordonof Authentic Online Dating Tips For Men and a graduate of Michael’s Become That Guy coaching program.
In college I had a female friend Amy who would complain all about her boyfriend to me. He was a rude, condescending jerk. It frustrated me so much. If the guy was such a douche, why didn’t she just leave him? Ironically, when I asked for her own dating tips for men, she didn’t say “be a jerk like my asshole boyfriend.” She told me same things my mother told me: hold the door open for her and buy her flowers.
Huh? Why do women say they want one thing, and then go for another? This led me to an interesting realization:
Watch for what women actually go for rather than what they say they go for.
Perhaps Amy didn’t always want to admit that women are attracted to men who are a challenge, but Irina Aleksander of the New York Observer does.
In her article she discusses the “homme fatale,” a seduction archetype, (kind of like Robert Greene’s Art of Seduction) that women fall hard for. The homme fatale appears in the article as kind, sensitive nice guy that ends up breaking her heart. One woman quoted in the article states: “he seemed too nice and sensitive to treat me the way that he did.”
While her article is geared toward women, warning them to “beware” the homme fatale, she ironically ends up giving a lot of dating tips for men who are not the stereotypical “ladies man” on how to attract women.
The takeaway for men: Oftentimes the very things that women complain about are the exact things you should be doing to attract women.
1.) Katherine, a woman Aleksander features in the article, says that one of the hommes fatalles she dated was “intelligent and not too forward, and always surrounded by beautiful women.”
Aleksander goes on to say that “Katherine admits she found [this] intriguing.”
DATING TIP FOR MEN #1: Women are attracted to men who are surrounded by other women. This desire falls under the universal principle that people want what others have.
2.) Aleksander also quotes Jessica Pressler, a senior editor of New York magazine. “Aaron Rose is not particularly attractive, but he figures out that he can get the pretty girls simply by not acting as if they were special, and girls are intrigued by that.”
DATING TIP FOR MEN #2: Women are attracted to men who are not attracted to them because they are a challenge. (You may want to check out this article on my blog, Authentic Online Dating Tips For Men, for more insight on this.)
Male dating coaches are not the only ones expounding these facts. All of the quotations in Irina Aleksander’s article come from women.
And yet, most women don’t want you to know about these methods that les hommes fatalles use to seduce them.
Hence why she tells women to “beware” of these guys.
I don’t know if the men featured in her article acted with integrity or not. What I do know is this:
Clearly these men triggered a powerful emotional response. But does this mean that in order to attract women you have to be a jerk like the homme fatale?
When I was a client of Michael Hurst two years ago, he taught me all about how to be honest, upfront and authentic with women, while at the same time being able to become that guy who is a seductive challenge. One unique aspect was that women were actively involved in his seminars and when going out to meet women. We got highly effective dating tips for men with feedback from women.
The tips above are similar to concepts that Michael Hurst teaches in his coaching program and in his book Become That Guy: Become Irresistibly Attractive.
You see results when you work with Michael. I witnessed him working with some guys who were – let’s be honest- pretty hard cases (still virgins in their 20s). By the end of his program they were getting laid and had found great women for relationships. Subscribe to his email list to find out more.