March 23, 2018

Develop a Powerful frame of mind for meeting women

Develop an Unstoppable, Powerful Frame of Mind

One question I have been asked is how do I create the frame of mind that makes meeting and rapidly sexually escalating with women something that just comes naturally?  Here are a few key points about the kinds of beliefs and understandings that once internalized will provide you with the frame of mind to support your behavior so that it comes naturally and intuitively in the moment.


You are valuable, worthy and desirable 

A key first step to having empowering interactions with women is building the right states of mind and beliefs about yourself.  The core underlying belief must be this: you are desirable and women want to be with you.  This does not mean you are better than the woman you desire by comparison. This does not mean that you there is not room for you to continue to grow and develop as a person to become your best self. Nor does it mean that you shouldn’t admit when you are in the wrong.  Nor does it mean you are entitled.  It is about confidence and certainty in your value as a person. This belief sets you up to become a happy, confident person.

Don’t Care too much what any one person says.

Another way of stating this is to by unaffected or under-affected.    Simply that you don’t care too much about being accepted or rejected by a person, at least not until you have known them long enough for them to become a really important person in your life.  Part of being unaffected is your ability to have a solid self image and confidence independent of what others think.  This way you will not be overly reactive or affected by anything that she does.  Don’t attach excess meaning to what a woman says or does in terms of being accepted or rejected.  Not every woman is going to desire you or accept your advance. This could have nothing to do with you. She may just be having a bad day, or is just not one for you. Either way, there is no rejection. Her missed opportunity is no reflection on you. You can’t win them all and that’s ok.

If you have been seeing each other in a relationship, know that much of what people do and say is based on their emotional frame of mind at the time which might be based on factors other than you.  People in general and women in particular have moods and emotions to express and sometimes the best way to handle it is to listen, not respond too much with your own emotions and then wait until tomorrow when moods and circumstances may have changed.

Take the lead – Know what you want and go for it

Another principle is that you don’t overcome another person’s uncertainty if you are uncertain yourself.  Confidence and self-assurance can help lead you in the direction you want her to go. This is a good general principle of human behavior; people tend to follow a strong, confident lead.  She might not know if she is interested in being with you at first, however over time she becomes more and more interested in you by virtue of your confidence that being with you is the best possible outcome for her.

Beliefs as positions to approach a situation

Another important understanding is that beliefs are useful positions to come from. They do not necessarily have to be accurate based on physical reality. For example if you have the belief that being with you is the best possible thing that could happen to a woman.  It’s not necessarily true, but the belief will help you have more fun and get better results than if you did not have the belief. Beliefs like this tend to be a self-fulfilling prophesy. Even if a woman was initially indifferent or cool, she will often accept and warm to my presence within a few minutes of being around your relaxed confidence.  As you hold this belief in your mind it will guide your words and actions so that you won’t have to think about what to do or say, it will simply be an expression of your attitude.

Your emotional state – What you resist persists.

What you accept you gain power to use. Think of it like martial arts. When faced with an attack from an opponent you move with the punch and redirect the energy from it, instead of taking the full energy of the attack.  When stuck in a negative frame of mind, you also have choices.  You can feel badly about why you are feeling the way that you are at a certain moment, shy, nervous, or non-social OR you can accept that is how you are currently feeling and know that you can change it.  This is also true of your interactions with women.

Perhaps you feel nervous about approaching a woman across the room, that’s ok, and you can change it, or act in spite of your nerves, knowing that with each approach it gets easier. Or maybe your approach did not lead to a long standing conversation. Not all women are going to be attracted to you or respond in just the way that you might like.  If you accept this fact, knowing that you don’t have to win all of the time or even most of the time, you will be coming from a much better place.  There are always other women that will be attracted to you, and as long as you keep this belief in mind you will be coming from a better position to deal with any woman.  In brief, accept the reality of the hand you are dealt in a situation, it may not seem fair or just, but accept reality and respond to it.

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