May 27, 2018

Have Interesting, engaging conversations

One of the biggest problems I have heard guys mention is that a woman seems interested, but then the conversation dies out. There can be many reasons for this. However, the solution is to learn how to lead and direct a dynamic, interesting conversation. To develop an interaction with a woman in a romantic way, you need to capture and lead her emotions while engaging her in a challenging way. This is where it helps to have prepared stories and routines. They help get past the awkward spots and establish some basic rapport. Having an idea of what you can say also helps you relax and pay more attention to her.

1) Ask thought provoking questions

If you don’t want to rely on physical props, find ways to ask thought provoking questions that get her talking in depth about what is really important to her. For example, if you ask a woman what she does for a living, and she says that she is a teacher, the conversational topic  doesn’t have to stop there. You can add some depth by asking a question like, “so what is it about teaching that you find most interesting/ fascinating/ compelling”. This will get her her thinking about and sharing deeper, more meaningful aspects of who she is as a person. You can then continue to build rapport by actively listening and contributing your own stories.

2) Lead by sharing stories about yourself that she can relate to

Instead of just asking questions, lead with your own stories or respond to her stories by reciprocating the same kind of communication back to her.

3) Have some good routines that get her talking about herself

When you are first getting started developing your conversational skills with women or people in general it can help to have a solid ice-breaker to spark interest and keep the conversation from turning into normal social or business-like small talk. Some good routines include handwriting analysis, which is easy to do by implement product called the Grapho Deck.  Other routines include tarot cards, magic tricks, and many more. Knowing one of two routines gives you something to do with the woman which gets her involved and is interesting and challenging. Depending on the routine, it can take anywhere from 5 – 20 minutes. Used early in the conversation, it will introduce topics and reveal things that can provide hooks for other conversations.

4) Be fun and playful – Act as if you are already longtime friends

Another way is to talk to someone you have known only briefly as if you have already known them for a long time. This can actually build feelings of comfort and familiarity, and it creates an atmosphere where you are not taking her too seriously or trying to be too nice. Many people, men and women, enjoy sarcastic, humorous banter.  This is also helpful because some men speak to women they are attracted to in a way that is more serious or because they feel the need to impress them. For these women, playful sarcasm will be appreciated for its authenticity.

4) Show don’t tell – create vivid descriptions that evoke the senses

Finally, use your descriptive language to make an experience real and engaging. For example, if I were to describe my ideal vacation, I could say it was beautiful or I could describe the waves crashing up on the shoreline, the cool breeze cooling off my skin from the hot bright sun, and the smell of the salty air as it was blowing against my skin.

Notice how my description included things that you can see, hear and feel. For most people, one of these senses is more prevalent than the others. However if you don’t want determine which sense is most important, use all of them. It will make your stories and descriptions  much more real and vivid and give her something to connect with and share herself.  Men are often not very good at using sensory language so this is another way you can distinguish yourself in a good way.

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