One mistake I have seen many men make as they start learning to become more confident with women is that they make some progress with a woman and generate some interest and then stop the conversation when she was interested in continuing it. I’ve heard guys express a mindset that sounds similar to an investor selling off too soon to lock in his gains, or a football team running on 3rd down late in the game to set up a field goal instead of going for the touchdown when the touchdown would have completely clinched the game.
However these analogies don’t apply to women in quite the same way.
- Perhaps the conversation stalls momentarily after they have some strong initial interest.
- Or maybe you start trying some methods of communication that are new to you, i.e. humorous banter, being more teasing and challenging to the woman and they are working but then you slow down or stop doing what was working.
- Or maybe you were boldly direct in your approach and she was really into it, but then you backed off back in boring conversation.
The advice I have in all of these situations is if things are going, then KEEP GOING as long as you have some interest.
Playing it “safe” can really be a problem in part because women find it attractive when a man is really interested and will take the lead in getting to know her. This is where men lose sight of their goal and what they want and instead focus on avoiding loss. Let’s be honest, if you are initially attracted to her pursue your interest directly. If you are happy that she is favorably responding to her it might be tempting to stop at some point and ask for a phone number before you screw it up. Depending on the situation this might be your only choice. For example you meet on the subway or while grabbing coffee where one or both of you has to go. However if you could have continued the interaction you are better off doing it right then while you have the momentum going instead of trying to pick things up later. That way even if you get a phone number it is more solid because you have had an opportunity to talk for a longer period of time first.
Changing the way in which you communicate with women won’t always be easy or feel comfortable, but if you are committed to pushing the envelop then you have a chance of getting results that might go beyond what you ever could have imagined was possible.