March 23, 2018

What do women want? It’s not that different from what men want

If you listen enough to the media and some people Society men and women are very different in how they think and what they look for. While books like Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus make some useful points, oftentimes our media and individuals focus on the differences between men and women more than what they have in common. There certainly are differences such as biological, and cultural gender roles in how men and women are raised. But at the heart of it men and women are generally looking for the same things and I believe that while gender is one aspect of a person’s identity, there are more differences between individual men and women as people than there are between men and women.

Recently I went to a conference on dating where both  men and women listed qualities they want in a partner. Out of over 20 qualities that were listed almost all of them were the same. Here are a few of the ones that both the male and female attendees came up with:

  • Funny
  • Intelligent
  • Organized
  • Good at sex
  • Caring
  • Adventurous
  • Ambitious/ has goals

With that thought in mind that men and women are more alike than different in what they are looking for in a sexual/ romantic partner, I have noticed that men and women who frequently talk about how different men and women are really projecting their own experience or frustrations with individual men and women onto the whole gender, rather than realizing that their experience has really been one of different goals or a communication gap with a specific individual.

Here is a recent article that expounds upon this phenomena that men and women are often looking for similar things


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