The following online dating tips are from a blog by Drama in DC who I met on Ok Cupid. Here is her story of how we met: The Dating Coach. We later went on to become good friends with benefits and she helped me when I went out to coach guys infield and online dating profiles.
Tips on Online Dating
(from Drama in DC)
I’ve had a profile on various online dating websites for a long time and I’ve encountered many profiles and gotten tons of messages. I’ve also done many experiments with my profile to see what works and what doesn’t so here are some of my observations and tips.
- Have a profile picture: Let’s face it, whether you’re a guy or a girl, the first thing you look at is the picture. Make sure that you have one that shows your face.
- Don’t just list things that you like: Everyone has hobbies and you want to tell the viewers of your profile that you have them. You don’t have to mention all of them but make sure to mention some and add a short story to one or two of them. You’re into hiking? Well say how you took this one hiking trip that was so much fun. That way the guy or girl can relate to it, even ask you about it. It sparks a conversation. Maybe he/she has hiked there too, or has a fun hiking story to share. You like to travel? Share a fun travel story!
- Don’t mention your job too much: You don’t want to end up only talking about your job on a first date or in a message.
- Don’t be too serious: Don’t ever take online dating too seriously! Have fun with it! Show your sense of humor, don’t just say that you have a sense of humor. I’ve seen so many profiles where people say they have a great sense of humor but no evidence of it. Quite frankly their profiles are pretty dull and boring. If you’re passionate about it, by all means share it!
- Have qualifiers: By stating things that you like and bits about yourself that you’d like to see in the other person you are more likely to attract a person with those qualities. I like to party so I don’t message guys that say they don’t drink and prefer to stay home instead of going out. However, DO NOT make a list of things you don’t like about people, it makes you sound obnoxious.
- Make your messages short and to the point and demonstrate that you actually read the person’s profile. Perhaps you noticed something that you have in common, mention that. Too many guys (and perhaps girls) just say “ohh you look gorgeous” and then talk only about themselves. That just tells me that they didn’t read my profile. Try to make your message no longer than 2 paragraphs where you mention something you noticed in their profile and intrigues you, a bit about yourself that relates to them, and pose a question.
- Don’t EVER just message “hey cutie!”. Also mind your grammar and spelling! It’s not a text messaging conversation, show that you’re literate.
- Keep it flirty to establish and maintain attraction. If you don’t wanna become just friends you’re going to have to make sure that you come across as attracted to the person.
- To establish comfort you might end up instant messaging but make sure that you don’t just IM for days and never meet up.